In the car, on the way home from piano lessons.
Him: Lele, you are making me extremely angry. Mom, I am making a very good choice not to hit her right now.
Her: I am feeling very angry too. Mom, I really feel like I want to hit him back.
Me: Everyone is making good choices not to hit right now...
Him: I am overflowing with anger. I feel anger in my whole body.
Her: I would love to take off this seat belt and tackle you right now.
Him: I wish I could punch you but I am making a good choice not to. Mom, I'm making an excellent choice not to punch her.
Her: Please do not talk about punching me. Mom, he's thinking about punching me so now I am thinking about kicking him.
And on and on and on. It's weird, really. I'm glad they've temporarily stopped wailing on each other, but this new kind of fighting is kind of creepy. I'm testing it out myself:
Me: I am making a very good choice not to scream at my computer right now. It is running slowly, but is an inanimate object and therefore my scream will have no effect. I feel as though I would like to aid it in colliding with the wall, however I am controlling my emotions. I am electing not to use high-volume expletives when addressing it it
Yeah, see, it's not working. I should take a lesson from the Stepford children in the back seat.
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