I know that people deal with change differently. Some people jump right in. Ask questions later. Head first. That kind of thing. Other people try to block change from breaking down the door, bracing themselves against it. They lock the deadbolt and push the couch in front of the door to try to stop change from getting in.
I've never found out which kind of person I am when it comes to change.
On one hand, I'm all, "What's the worst that can happen?" Screw it. Do it. In those moments, it's 1996 again. I can almost smell my roommates incense burning in our crappy apartment and feel the coffee and Now N Later buzz I had all through college. It's the fearlessness of that time, really. Something that I don't feel very often now, but every so often, there's a small unpredictable burst of THAT version of me.
The other, more familiar version of me is constantly over-thinking, over-researching, over-worrying about change and what it will mean to me, to the kids, to my family, to the world...At the slightest rock of the boat, I'm off on what I think of as The Anxiety Roller Coaster. It has huge drops and loops and twists, it goes backward and leaves me suspended upside down.
See, the thing is, I used to love roller coasters. I don't anymore. The last time I rode one, I felt like I got the shit kicked out of me. But, maybe I should try it again...
to my family, to the world...At the slightest rock of the boat
Posted by: nike max 90 | July 20, 2011 at 06:14 PM